Getting started with sex magick

by Janelle Lassalle

What is sex magick, anyways? 

Sex magick is a practice in which you harness the power of your internal desires to manifest changes in your reality. 

Now, there are LOTS of different ways practitioners can do this, but for today’s purposes we’ll just get started with the basics.

Who are you? 

I’m a scientist and a witch that practices several different kinds of magick including sex magick, glamour magick, plant magick, demonolatry and chaos magick.

Ways To Practice

There are lots of ways to incorporate sex magick practices in your day to day life. These include: self love spells, working with gods/spirits/deities via offerings and altars (“devotional magick”), abstinence based manifestation, creating potions, perfumes (glamour magick) and ritualized sex magick practices. 

I cover most of these techniques in my new book, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, a paranormal thriller that dives into my magickal workings, but have provided some brief tips below for your convenience.

Self-Love Spell

The best way, IMO to get started with sex magick is to begin self-love work. You can do this in a number of different ways. 

Start by identifying what it is you need to be the happiest, healthiest, most vital version of yourself—then GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. Been putting off therapy? Now is the time. Always wanted a cute outfit but you’re too broke? Love yourself enough to learn a new skill like how to sew. Pick wildflowers from your walks home and put them in your hair. Leave self-affirmation love notes sealed with a kiss and perfume all around your house. Dare to sketch yourself as a nude. Have the courage to finally read a poem at the open mic night. Whatever makes you feel good! 

One of my favorite self love spells is a cleansing plant bath. I gather my favorite herbals—usually dried roses, lavender, sprigs of rosemary from my garden—and pour warm water over them as I bathe myself with the water. You can add honey or milk too, if you like; just don’t get water in your eyes as it can contain essential oils. Play music you find to be beautiful (for me, Florence and the Machine). Sit and admire the beauty that is you. 

What makes this powerful isn’t just the act of taking a minute to do something that isn’t work. It’s making a conscious decision to begin investing in yourself; that you are WORTHY of the extra effort. If made with true devotion and sincerity, this decision is one that will carry over into every area of your waking life, transforming it from the inside out.

Sexy Sigils

A sigil is a symbol created by magickal practitioners to help them achieve a specific outcome. Sigils use abstract images to represent distinct aspects of their intended goal. They are then charged, which can be done in a number of ways (for instance, charging sigils under the moon, with fire, sound, smoke, or hell, by fucking on them). A sigil is then destroyed by the practitioner; this signifies the will of the desire being distributed back to the universe where it can spread and grow.

Sexy sigils are a great way to manifest your desires. You can either work solo or with a partner. Use your favorite materials to draw sigils on each other (or your bed, or a candle you turn while you do the deed), then “destroy” them in whatever way pleases you: lick them off, friction them away, take a sexy shower. I love using melted chocolate for this purpose, though some practitioners may use blood. I do not recommend beginners opt for blood magick, however.

Glamour Magick

“Glamour magick, IMO, is a field of magick that specializes in techniques that can be used to glamour someone. To glamour someone means to put them in a trance-like state; a state where they are obsessed, infatuated or much more taken with you than they normally might be. Glamour states also entail lowered defenses (making you seem more approachable) and or/creating hyper-suggestive states in which the subject is far more open to engaging in X, Y or Z behaviors the magician suggests. 

Mind you, there are no such thing as love spells; to glamour someone isn’t to make them fall in love with you. You can not override free will.”

—an excerpt from my book, HOLY FUCKING SHIT 

One particularly powerful glamour I use is to enchant a specific piece of jewelry for a very specific purpose. Spend some time thinking about how you’d like to be perceived. For instance: do you want people to instantly be drawn to looking at a certain body part? Do you want to highlight a certain internal quality (let’s say playfulness)? Whatever your goal is, keep this in mind as you look for suitable jewelry. This can be something you already own that feels special to you, or was a gift, or (ideally) is a piece you searched for (thrift store find!!) or made yourself. 

Once you have your jewelry and goal in mind you need to charge it. You can draw a sigil on it with essential oils; charge it with a sound bowl, gong or music or do one of several other routines, but my favorite route is to wear the jewelry and dance with it. Dance with it, by yourself, in an environment you have created that makes you feel sexy. Burn your favorite incense; throw your favorite sheets on; dance in your special bday heels. Hold the jewelry in your hand, over your heart, and infuse it with your purpose. Repeat this process daily for most potent results. 

The more love and devotion you put into your amulet, the more power it will begin to give off. Eventually others will soon implicitly begin to feel its effects. 

Abstinence Manifestation

Sex isn’t just a source of pleasure; it’s also a powerful motivator, driving us to do things we might not normally imagine ourselves taking part in. 

One of the most powerful ways to manifest with sex magick is to tie your goal to an orgasm. That’s right: retain all orgasms until your goal is complete. You are not to cum until your goal is achieved. 

Devotional Sex Magick

Working with deities and spirits can be as simple as leaving them offerings at an altar. 

Start off by doing some research into figures that align with your goals, passions, beliefs. I, for instance, work with the demon Asmodeus for a lot of sex magick—but I would not recommend him for beginners. Others may opt to work with Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, instead. Find what resonates with you.

Spend some time learning about your chosen figure. What do they stand for? What flowers, colors, elements do they love? 

You can then begin to pay homage to your chosen spirit, god or deity by creating a small altar for them. An altar is an area devoted to paying respect to a spirit or god. Fill the altar with elements associated with your chosen figure. My Aphrodite altar, for instance, bears flowers, seashells and other foraged treasures from the ocean. 

Spend some time at the altar thinking about your deity, feeling your love and gratitude for them. Light a candle as you do so. Leave offerings daily.

After you spend some time doing this, some practitioners begin to notice gods/spirits reaching back out to them—bestowing their favor, if you will. The favor of the gods, if rightfully earned, can have remarkable effects on your sex life. 

Ritualized Sex MagicK

POTIONS AND PERFUMES

Create a specific ritual tailored to your goal. Incorporate as many elements of your goal into the ritual as you can. When the ritual is complete, your goal will manifest. You can include a number of elements here ranging from sigils to offerings, ritualized drumming and chanting/singing, sound bowls, dancing naked under the moonlight, use of empathogens like ceremonial drinking cacao…

Making your own doesn’t just make you smell good; it provides a tremendous sense of empowerment, which, in turn, makes you feel sexier.

I often make perfumes from flowers I forage. I add homemade essential oils to them, charge and bless my perfume (usually under the full moon, or with a ceremony), and wear and customize them in a similar manner to how you would for a charmed piece of jewelry. Certain smells have a more powerful sexual allure than others; jasmine, for instance, is a very common ingredient in perfume for this reason. 

As potions go, experiment with your favorite adaptogens to find what works for you. I like to make potions that combine cannabis oils with other tinctures like ginger or maca for extra vitality, stamina and OOMPH. You can also look into aphrodisiacs like horny goat weed, Longjack and ginseng. Grow your own plants and herbs for the most potent effect.